Stress Management

Current Events Conflict Chat with….Pattie Porter and Stephen Kotev – Listen in on 9/27 at 8 pm Eastern

Current Events Conflict Chat with….Pattie Porter and Stephen Kotev – Listen in on 9/27 at 8 pm Eastern

Got Conflict? If you have a conflict with someone and are not sure how to handle it, then let us know. Here is your opportunity to ask your question with Conflict Management experts who are mediators, conflict coaches and facilitators on how to think about, analyze or resolve your situation.

Think about it. Are you currently engaged in an active conflict with your co-workers or boss? Ignoring your neighbor because of a conversation you don’t want to have? In a disagreement with your spouse? Or simply afraid to bring up a concern with a friend in fear of stirring up problems.

Join us live. Here is how:

  • Call 347-324-3591; press 1 and wait for a Host
  • Use the Reply box below to post your question or conflict situation
  • Join us in the chat room live at Blog Talk Radio on the night of the program. Post your comment or question here and we will bring it into the program.
  • Join our Live Twitter chat using #ConflictChat every Tuesday night at 5 pm Pacific/7pm Central/8 pm Eastern

4/26 Conflict Chat with….Pattie Porter, Stephen Kotev and Abigail R. C. McManus is now available for download and streaming

4/26 Conflict Chat with….Pattie Porter, Stephen Kotev and Abigail R. C. McManus is now available for download and streaming

In this week’s conflict chat we discussed the tragic death of New Orleans Saints star defensive end Will Smith and what happens to you when someone becomes emotionally hijacked. Listen in to learn how to better control these responses and better avoid classic mistakes when dealing with emotional and upset people.

 

Is Your ADR Safe? Reducing the Risk of Violence Before, During and After Sessions

Is Your ADR Safe? Reducing the Risk of Violence Before, During and After Sessions

Later on this week I will be presenting at the 18th annual American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution spring conference in New York, New York. My colleague, Susan Yates of the Resolution Systems Institute, and I will be presenting our work on safety and safety planning to advocates, lawyers, arbitrators, mediators and other conference attendees.

We look forward as well to seeing old friends and colleagues, making new ones and advancing our field. This conference is an excellent opportunity to stay abreast of current developments, best practices, and innovations central to the ADR field. I am honored to be presenting to such an experience and esteemed audience. Please do stop by and say hello if you are in town.

All the best,

Stephen

De-Escalation Techniques to Avoid Violence in the Dispute Resolution Process – 12/18 – Columbus, Ohio

De-Escalation Techniques to Avoid Violence in the Dispute Resolution Process – 12/18 – Columbus, Ohio

On December 18th, I’ll be giving a presentation for the Columbus Bar Association on De-Escalation Techniques to Avoid Violence in the Dispute Resolution Process. I am honored to be co-presenting with a member of the Columbus Police Department’s Crisis Negotiation team as we discuss ADR/conflict resolution safety best practices and the art and science of verbal de-escalation: http://www.cbalaw.org/cba_prod/files/cle/151218OT.pdf

Agenda:

9:00-10:30am: ADR Safety Planning: How to Handle Yourself
Overview of Conflict Resolution Safety Planning Recommended Guidance
The Fundamentals of Creating Your Own Safety Plan
Dealing with High Emotion Conflicts

10:30-10:45am: Break

10:45am-12:15pm: The Art and Science of Verbal De-Escalation in Crisis Situations: How to Handle Others
Proven Verbal Techniques to Deal with Crisis Situations
How to Remain Calm and Get Results
How Learning what the Hostage Negotiation Team Does Can Help You

Somatic Skills for Conflict Resolvers Offered at the University of Waterloo

Somatic Skills for Conflict Resolvers Offered at the University of Waterloo

This week I will have the great pleasure of teaching somatic skills to conflict resolvers from the University of Waterloo and Conrad Grebel University College. This workshop is being offered in conjunction with Grebel’s Certificate in Conflict Management with participants from across the public, private and educational sectors.

As a graduate of Conrad Grebel and the University of Waterloo, I feel honored to have this opportunity. Especially since, I will also have the pleasure of speaking at Conrad Grebel’s community supper. The topic of my talk will be on embodied peace and how to utilize somatics to become the ‘calm in the midst of the storm.’ It is a wonderful feeling to contribute to the long standing commitment to peace that these two institutions embrace.

Safety Planning – What Every Conflict Resolver Needs to Know – 3/25 at 6 pm Eastern

Safety Planning – What Every Conflict Resolver Needs to Know – 3/25 at 6 pm Eastern

Conflict Resolvers routinely enter into conversations and circumstances most would choose to avoid. These conversations can contain some of the strongest emotional triggers, and create the most stressful situations, that we may ever experience. Register now to attend my ADRHub webinar on safety planning that will take place on 3/25 at 6 pm Eastern. Registration is free but spots are limited.

I will discuss  how to prepare, what to ask, and what to do to care for yourself and your clients in the most dangerous of circumstances. We will also review my work as Chair of the Association for Conflict Resolution’s Task force on Safety in ADR the Recommended Guidance on Safety it created.

The full archived program of this presentation can be found on my resources page.

Virginia Mediation Network Keynote Address – Mediator Safety 101

Virginia Mediation Network Keynote Address – Mediator Safety 101

This Saturday, I will have the honor and privilege of delivering the keynote address to the 2014 Annual Spring Training Conference of the Virginia Mediation Network. The Virginia Mediation Network is the state’s largest mediation membership association. Its mission is to promote public understanding of conflict resolution services and provide its members with interdisciplinary knowledge and skills and a community to enhance their professional success.

The topic of this address will be: Mediator Safety 101: What Every Mediator Needs to Know to Stay Safe in Our Dangerous Times

Fueled by my work as the Chair of the Association for Conflict Resolution Taskforce on Safety in ADR, this keynote will highlight key safety planning and risk reduction strategies. Mediators are routinely asked to enter into conversations and circumstances most would choose to avoid. These conversations can contain some of the strongest emotional triggers, and create the most stressful situations, that we may ever experience.

I hope you will join me this Saturday to learn how to prepare, what to ask, and what to do to care for yourself and your clients in the most dangerous of circumstances.

A Look Into Our Emotions

A Look Into Our Emotions

Finnish researchers have uncovered a very interesting correlation between our bodily sensations and emotional responses. In a study recently published in Proceedings of the National Academies of Sciences, 733 participants from Taiwan, Finland and Sweden took part in five experiments to indicate how certain emotionally charged words, stories, movies or facial expressions made them feel within their body.  Each participant was asked to highlight where within their body they felt a reaction. Bodily regions were colored within blank silhouettes to indicate the level of activity in response to each stimulus.

This study by Aalto University researchers has created a wonderful graphical representation of what happens in our body in response to emotional imagery, showing how happiness and depression manifest within our physiology. You can see when you literally ‘light up with joy’ at the sight of a loved one or completely collapse under the weight of depression.

Body Mapping

I often ask my students or clients to describe what stress feels like in their body. “Anxious,” “hopeless,” and “fearful” are common responses. Unfortunately, these are emotional terms that do not really tell us much about what is happening in our body.  So, I have to ask them to describe what anxiety/hopelessness/fear feels like in their body. Usually, there is a moment of silence and an awkward pause as they scratch their head and search for an answer.

For a variety of reasons, we here in the West are deeply disconnected from our bodies. We struggle to articulate what happens to our physiology when we are deeply happy or profoundly sad. We don’t know what happens to our heart rate or breathing when we are angry. We don’t know where we hold tension in our bodies or if we clench our jaw during difficult conversations. We may have a brief glimpse of our response, but we really do not give it much thought.

The majority of my work as a somatic educator is to help build self-awareness within my clients and students. Without awareness, it is impossible to change behavior or develop skill. You can read every book ever written and take every training on the market, but you will still be hopelessly lost if you do not understand who you are and what you can and cannot do.

Once you are better able to perceive what is happening within your body, you will become more emotionally intelligent. If you can identify how changes in your body directly relate to changes in emotion, you can begin to make different choices. Instead of impulsively reacting, you can use this self-awareness to make a different choice. Every time your eyes narrow and your fists clench, you’ll know an angry outburst is about to follow. But you will now have the opportunity to choose differently.

This opportunity for choice is central to high-performing teams, outstanding leadership and quality conflict resolution. So the next time you start to lose your temper, take a look at these images and see if you can start to choose differently.

Neighbor Nuisance Brings You Holiday Annoyance Program Now Available For Download or Streaming

Neighbor Nuisance Brings You Holiday Annoyance Program Now Available For Download or Streaming

Click on the player below to learn some helpful tips on how to deal with your neighbors during the holiday season. Pattie Porter and I presented strategies to keep neighbor conflict at bay and help you manage your triggers to those nuisances you cannot control so that you can enjoy your holidays and prevent future neighborhood drama.

 

Somatics – An Untapped Resource for Conflict Coaches

Somatics – An Untapped Resource for Conflict Coaches

Conflict Coaches are called on to help clients deal with a wide range of difficult circumstances. The presentation below highlights how the development of self-awareness through mastery of somatic skills is essential to success or failure when coaching clients.

Using simple techniques focused on breath, posture, and vision, coaches can improve their own performance and become more present/mindful during coaching sessions. When taught to clients, these same techniques can reveal powerful insights into your client through their physiology. This insight can then be used to develop self-awareness, manage anxiety, cultivate emotional intelligence, and foster self-esteem.

To learn more, please listen to the Association for Conflict Resolution Conflict Coaching Committee October teleseminar today from 12:00 to 1:00 pm EST at 857-232-0300, PIN 2545568 – not toll free.